Folks I am completely speechless. I thought I had heard it all - from a guy who believes that the government blew up the WTC towers to Congress calling french fries french fries, from having a 16oz bottle of shampoo cost only 3 dollars more than an 8 oz one to reading a story about kids who charged 13 cents for one bunch of bananas and 27 cents for two bunches.
But I was wrong
Thats right, I realized tonight that there are still depths of the human psyche that I do not understand and have not fathomed because tonight I read about the
(drumroll please)
HAMDOG!!!!
Thats right America - forget about your heart attack inducing Monster Burgers, or gigantic plates of cheese fries, gargantuan ("you know - I've always loved that word, gargantuan, and I so rarely get a chance to use it in a sentence") slices of apple pie topped with melting scoops of ice cream, don't even consider the messy fingers of homemade ribs or the fat content of that succulent steak on your plate. Put away from you your Twinkies, HoHo cakes, Nutty Bars, chocolate chip cookies, Oreos, Cheez-it (both regular and White Cheddar) and please, please, please don't talk to me about candy bars. None of these delectable things live up to the sheer, unmitigatedly unadulterated genius of the Hamdog (I wanted to see what two words that start with un- look like side-by-side, now I know).
Now for all of you wanting to know what a Hamdog is --- I'll tell you.
First you take a hot dog
Then you wrap it in a beef patty
Then you deep fry it
Then you put it into a hoagie bun
Then you cover it with chili
Then you cover that with cheese
Then you put the onions on it
(hopefully you've already put it onto a plate)
Because we have only barely reached artery-clogging status in our morbidly obese nation we then put a fried egg on top of everything else
And then we put two (2!!!) FISTFULLS of fries (french not freedom).
Ladies and Gentleman - everyone's next favorite fast food burger!!!!
(can you even possibly imagine BK doing a commercial on this - or even Golden Arches with its new yuppie, health food kick? This is unreal . . . the comedic possibilities are virtually endless . . . I need to stop)
Note: I did not make this up, this burger(?) is actually sold at Mulligans Pub in Atlanta (no I didn't go there nor did any of my friends - the story was found on cbsnews.com, so there).
11 x 5 = 55 (its 11:55 right now)
3 comments:
I love the fact that you say it's 11:55 right now but the line right below it says "posted by Jaron at 11:42.
Get a real clock, or stop lying to us.
Get the courage to sign your name
(my computer said 11:55 who am I to argue with it)
hahaha! josh i miss you! and you never lack for making me laugh! that i must say was hysterical and whoever thought of a hamdog was a morbidly obese freak of nature! =] hahaha!
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