good evening friends.
Just to warn you, I don't think this post is going to be to random. Its more a personal way to work some stuff out, pardon me for being ambigous, for the lack of connected thought and (of course) if I would happen to offend anyone I am terribly sorry.
( I mean that )

Ok, so a couple of weeks ago Josh was a big idiot and did some stuff that he didn't talk with his parents about and they they weren't happy with him, and then another person brought up more issues with him, and then Josh found out that he had offended other people by not talking to his parents thereby putting them in an untenable position, then Josh found out that some of his bestest ever friends were feeling a little neglected and unloved. Josh is also trying to work his job, teach his lessons, practice for a concert, get a relationship going, apply for grad school, and stay current on the world at large. Needless to say, I either failed or completed the above items somewhat shoddily.

One of the reasons I tend to stay away from making deep, spiritual applications in my posts is because it always rings false when I try. It sounds cliched, tired, and weak, but in this case I have to make the application. In the midst of the craziness of my life - I got away from relying on God, and from the people that God had put in my life to sustain me. I got wrapped up in my own desires and wishes and forgot to keep God guiding me. As a result God stopped the train (rather violently) that he had started so that I could realize that I needed my conductor back (sorry for the cliched analogy).

Soooo couple of things.
1. I apologize to my friends for not being there all the time for them. Its not a lack of desire but more of trying to balance a new life with an old one. I love you all (and I do mean that in a mocking way.)
2. I admit that I'll never be good enough to punch my own ticket.

I went to Chambers Choir today for the first time since I graduated and Dad had this Hungarian guy (missionary to Hungary) come and sing and he sang "Why should He love me so" and when he was done he said something like "I don't know why He should love me, I still wonder at that" More than anything, I forgot God. I forgot His mercy, His love, His compassion. I became selfish and withdrawn, closeminded and arrogant. I forgot His holiness, and His judgement allowing myself to be drawn from His side and forgetting the price that was/is inevitable. And so I apologize to each and every one of you that I have hurt - some of you I need to talk to in person and I will.

I love you all

p.s. sorry for the rambles - if I didn't make any sense I am sorry - it was at least cathartic for me.

Fall Days

Saturday's.
Football
College Football
Sunny Skies
Plain Doughnuts
Cinnamon Sugar Doughnuts
Hot Apple Cider
Leaves
Crisp Weather
Sweaters
Fire
Peat
Trepidation
Anticipation
Chores
School
Books
Travel

p.s. Thanks to the Ironwood peeples (I like that spelling better) for commenting. I miss you all

seven

Do you ever have numbers that you think are complete?
For me 19 is an incomplete number it needs to be 20. but 3 is perfect and 4 should be five. 11 and 12 and 13 are all bad but 14 and 15 and 16 would all be complete. This has always kind of intrigued me, also, the fact that when I spout off random numbers (it happens a lot btw) I tend to choose numbers that I feel are complete. For me, any number that contains "seven" in a predominant place is complete and so I use it a lot. "seventeen thousand times this, seven hundred times that, etc. etc. etc."

I really wanted to tell you all that.

Now, on to other more interesting things.

I really don't like being a news blog (where I tell you - 'I went here and saw so-and-so, and it was sooo cool, and we went shopping, and then we went to his house and watched movies, and I saw this movie and it was great'
MY BROTHERS, THESE THINGS OUGHT NOT SO TO BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to know, or if I do - you can tell me in person.
So in that light, Ironwood was at Maranatha today and it was really cool to see them. [side note of not insignificance: (great english huh?) I'm curious which of you ironwood peeps read my blog. I know Katy does and Matty. So if I met you at Ironwood and you don't normally comment please comment so I can find out who reads. and yes, this is a shameless ploy to have my ego stroked (or destroyed) by realizing how many (or how few) people actually read my blog]. And I got an email months ago from an Ironwoodie that I just got yesterday and I'm going to teach a piano lesson.

Waldo on, friends
Your friend, Waddles

Waldoing

So growing up I always heard about these "Waldo" books. And I wondered - why in the world would anybody want to sit for hours and look for this stupid little idiot in a red-and-white stocking hat on a printed page. And so I scoffed and mocked and teased and decided to (at the first opportunity) go and get one of the books. And as I sat down and began looking at it I was completely blown away. At the millions of details given in the pictures, the absurdity of the situations found all over every page, the comic genius needed to be able to think of anything like it. And then I started looking for Waldo AND IT WAS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, HARD!!!!!!! Now, I'm not the most patient of all people so I will admit that I didn't always find Waldo on every page, and I even 'gasp' looked at the back of the book to find the answers. But I really liked the book(s). Fast-forward to today, I saw the name Waldo in a post on a tech blog I like and I said: "Eureka!!!! I have found it, the perfect nonsensical title to the most retarded blog ever, hurrah!!!!!!,
'I gloat
tirra-lirra-la
Hear Me'
(Family Members are not allowed to answer: but what book is this from?)." So for the present, my new blog name is "Here's Waldo"
on a slightly related note: I'm thinking of changing my sign-in name to Waddles if only for the shock value. thoughts???

As regards daily trivia: I was looking for the music thing, I also accept: hair, statesmen (Beethoven does tend to be a bit of a stretch here though) and wacko's (all to smart for their own good)

Coming Soon: Josh opens up and tells you how he watched a flower grow. Stay tuned for this riveting account.

oops

Did you ever have a couple of days that were really hard to get through. Since Saturday night's been like that for me - stupid decisions that I'd made came back to haunt me and, man, is it irritating and humiliating to look at yourself and realize how wrong/dumb you really are. Anyway, that's why I haven't posted.

g'night friends/colleagues/family/peoples/immigrants/athletes/etc.

Daily Trivia

Who was Paderewski and what did he have in common with Einstein and Beethoven?

Part II

So lately I've been wondering why I like sci-fi.
I mean, the acting is horrible, the plot is despicable (to plagarize Yustin: a vast void with wisps of plot floating across it - not a direct quote, but you get the point), the cinematography is so bad that the blind man on the corner can do better. Plus, (and probably most damning) it spouts more cliches than any other genre of movie/tv. [note: in this paragraph, and in my life, I really only like sci-fi shows and movies. NOT books.]{of course, no genre can hope to compete with the chick flick for spouting cliche's, in fact its an insult to every genre of movie/tv to be compared to the chick flick}. Also, sci-fi has always been the domain of the nerd and the geek (labels I've been trying to escape since the beginning of time). But I really like sci-fi. oh, well

p.s. I had a piano student this week who devised a code for the phrase "Hi, how are you." The code was had probably 5 times the amount of letters that it would take to spell out "Hi, how are you" BUT!!!!!!!! YOU COULD PLAY THE WHOLE THING AS A SONG ON THE PIANO!!!!!!!! (she was pretty excited about that) [admittedly it did sound a little pointilistic, but who's complaining?] Another exciting day in the life of Josh

My apology

I apologize to those who don't like my new look.
Unfortunately I find it fresh and invigorating. [this probably means that I don't really apologize, but in order to keep the galaxy running around in circles I'll at least say I do]. I sit and look at all of these other blogs and they are almost all slanted to very dark or very light color schemes. And I got tired of it. plain and simple. so this is my way of stickin' it to the collective man.

"I won't have the same blog background as everyone else - so there!!!! Because having a different blog background than any other person I know makes me so much cooler than everyone else. It makes me the most importantest blogger person that I know. Take that 'man'!!!! (disclaimer: man in this paragraph has been used in a strictly gender neutral kind of way, its use is not intended to denigrate, demean or in any way destroy a womans concept of self)"

(seriously: sorry it doesn't appeal to everyone, if it gets to the point that people don't read my blog because of the color scheme I'll think about changing it.)

Any way, I've been thinking about the name and I really don't have any ideas - soooo this is me asking you for help.
Any comments/suggestions/insults/rude names/horribly-insensitive-but-amazingly-funny-stuff-that-people-should -ever-laugh-at-but-do, or anything else that you want to add let me know and I'll try to figure something permanent out.

The title of this post is actually "My Apologetic" but if I named it that my whole first three paragraphs would be meaningless, and I couldn't have that happening.

part I

While perusing the net today I found a website that categorically stated that it was wrong for me to have a personal blog. In fact it was sinful. for me. to write. on this blog. (emphasis mine)

I said . . . . . ummmmmmmm ok.

in other notes:
I've been recently reminded (by myself) that I have only posted a grand total of 39 times.
Dearest reader - I do abjectly apologize for not spending more time with you.
My only regret is that I have only one voice to offer for my blog. But I digress, actually in point of fact my whole life is a digression and so this is a digression of a digression of a digression - but you get the point don't you?

Gotta say I love sunsets [not so sure about long walks on the beach though] (hope that doesn't lose me to many hetero points).

Someone from california has a blog named "weedeater" and he talks about grass (the kind you step on) and he left me a comment and so naturally I checked it out and I liked his blog and the name still makes me laugh.

(note: don't take a breath while reading the last paragraph and get faster and louder and higher-pitched throughout the whole thing. I'm trying to make my blog interactive and this is the best way that I know).

Ladies and Gentlemen

I present unto you . . .

. . . to be continued

so . . . .

So I wanted a new look and I have to admit its pretty shwait (just try saying it).
the names in flux but everything else is fairly set. I'll try to get links up but no promises to anyone. Also the weather outside is beautiful and I'm in the office all day.

May all your children never walk the short road

p.s. my wallpaper is now a tiled picture of an ugly baby - high comedy.

To publicity and beyond.