And its been long enough

Now I know most of you folks out there seem to like this new-fangled music with its drums and guitars and singers (some of whom don't even sing) with its repetitive words and funny-looking dance moves and I might admit that some of it sounds pretty interesting. But for my book you can't beat a guy like Beethoven - who was a true genius (as evidenced by the fact that he yelled at people a lot and walked around his place in Vienna buck-naked and played a piano with its legs cut off and wrote music). Last Friday I got to hear a guy play a Beethoven sonata (op. 109 for those interested - anyone . . . . anyone at all?) and it was pretty good, not as mature as it could have been but it showed promise and it inspired me to return to a sonata I had once learned (op. 110) and relearn it. It is heartrendingly beatiful. Honestly, I could die listening to that song right now and I would be happy. It's like that scene from the end of the Last Samurai where Ken Watanabe is about ready to die and he see's the cherry blossoms and says something like "It's perfect" and then collapse's into a lake of his people's blood that he had killed because of his senseless attack. But I digress.
I don't know how normal people live their lives - it seems to be a mish-mash of banal activities (getting a shower, cooking food, taking out the garbage, going to work, sharpening pencils, etc.) and frenetic attempts to be somebody (American Idol anybody?).
And in a lot of ways I wish that I could be like that. I wish it were ok for me to go into business and work a 9-5, hopefully get a little financial security, have a family and get old and fat and die. I wish it were possible to only dream of getting into American Idol, or of getting a career as a lawyer.

And then, I sit down and play music. I'm not the best pianist. I'm really not even decent by the music world's standards, but when I experience the creation of sound, color, timbre, emotion, knowledge, that is the piano; I realize that I can do nothing else but pursue this desire. I don't know if normal people can relate to that. To be able to feel the sorrow that Beethoven felt. To see the majesty of Kiev. To paint a masterpiece in time - gone the instant it was created is a feeling like no other. I hope in your life that you are able to experience something like that, to transcend the mundane into a glorious world. To see nobility and villainy, tragedy and happiness, power and mercy. This is a great gift - I am humbled that I have been given the opportunity to experience this.
I guess for some people its hard to understand why a person could live a life not knowing about his future, never any real financial security to speak of, and I guess its hard for me too. I rest in the belief that I'm where God wants me, and when my faith becomes weak . . . I am reminded anew of his provision by the gift of music.