whatever

Lot of stuff on my mind, I think that I'm going to be moving to the 'never posting' stage. I think I've said what I wanted to say. Not totally destroying the blog but . . . . I don't really feel like I've been effectively communicating what I want to say and its irritating me to death. I'm kind of halfway serious and halfway cynical and I don't know why. Anyway, I'm out. I'll see you when I see you.

The Nobility

Throughout recorded history, in every culture that has been uncovered, in every philisophical movement set up, there has always been a caste system. From the nomads of the desert to the halls of Versaille, from the Wild West to the Soviet Union, mankind has stratified itself. In some instances this stratification has taken place based on absurd grounds such as, race or skin color. In many instances the division has been based upon the accumulation of wealth. And in a few instances the division has been based on an idea (or idea's). Our Nation has always been a stratified society - divided by race, creed, wealth, gender and a host of other issues. Thomas Jefferson during the drive to throw off the stratified society of Great Britain wrote that he wished to make a nation where the aristocracy was not based on wealth or family but rather on the so-called 'intellectual nobility', that is he desired an aristocracy of knowledge. So much for true democracy. Like many grandiose, utopian idea's this one has fallen by the way side in this day and age. Indeed, it seems that in our postmodern age we have lost any sense of nobility left in our society. As our public men and women are held up to increasingly powerful media scrutiny, the secrets of people, that fifty years ago would have remained unknown to the vast majority of our world, are now displayed for all the world to see in newspapers, blogs, tabloids, and TV. Because of this attention we have lost one of the most valuable aids to human progress - the ability of myth-making. We have no person in any part of society that is able to rise above the mundane aspects of life and become a hero (I use this term in a gender-neutral way). And our increasingly critical eye has now been turned to the past, in an effort to "debunk" history we are forced to research and read books that are more interested in the sordid details of a man's life than in his idea's and accomplishments. In a way, this is not a bad thing. For instance, it is exceptionally ironic - and necessary - to know that Jefferson could write "that all men are created equal. . ." and own slaves and have a slave mistress. But in all of this inquiry into people's lives we have lost mankind's nobility. And it is quite sad.
It is not that I am any better than you, or that you are better than me. Its the fact that we seem to have lost the ability for a person to raise themself to the level of 'nobility'. Part of the problem is the people that we focus on: frankly, any person in Hollywood is not worthy of any respect not entitled to a common person, nor are there many politicians that are worthy of even being in office let alone being objects of hero-worship. It is possible that amongst the people of some backwoods town or amongst the vast middle-class suburbs or the ever-growing inner-city there is a person who deserves the right of nobility. But that person doesn't make himself known to the common man. So yes, it is possible that this is more of a rant against the media, it is possible that this is a meditation on the ills of postmodernism. It is also possible that my own inexperience, lack of knowledge and youthful idealism are combining to make a fool out of myself.
All of which begs the question, what is nobility? Is it my ability to lead a great portion of society? Is it my ability to be a good, decent citizen. How does God figure in to this situation? Is it God's will that there even is nobility? Would it be possible that God would want me to lead people? For these questions I have no answers.

To be Continued

well what shall we talk about today.
I could argue the Wii vs. PS3 vs. XBox 360
I could talk about the man who wanted to commit 'violent jihad' in a Rockford mall that I'm going to today.
I could talk about the joys of Christmas that shine through in spite of the greed.
I could talk about the coolest background ever on my computer. (a photo of a place in Finland)
I could talk about having the bulletin ready at 11:15 in the morning (almost ready that is)
I could talk about the One, Double, Triple, and Quadruple Bypass burgers along with their Flatliner fries (cooked in pure lard)
I could rhapsodize about cheap chocolate doughnuts
I could discuss my horrors of dentistry and tie it in cleverly with my spiritual shortcomings
I could talk about the future and how motivated/unmotivated I am about it
I could tell a sappy story
I could mock RuthAnn for posting about guys
I could mock Daniel and Dale for never posting
I could discuss some random movie that I enjoy
I could go on and on and on and on and on about music and its quality (or lack thereof)
I could discuss summer plans
I could jamwrite about nothing
I could talk about the Packers, or the Bears, or the Steelers, or the Chargers, or almost any other football team
I could tell funny anecdotes about my students
I could complain about being so busy that I'll hardly get to see my brothers this Christmas
I could rejoice about getting to see Brittany over New Years
I could try to be open and real and discuss things that bother me in regards to me, christianity, the world, friends, enemies, future, past, etc.
I could post cool paintings
I could make up pseudo-intellectual discussions like: Is silence a sound? or "is black a real color"
I could talk about dark matter

But I won't

(another logical well-rounded post from the man who is supremely logical)

ummmmm, yeah . . . . . .

This week I have two signs of the apocalypse
1. A grandmother in AZ was caught with 200+ lbs of pot in her trunk. She said she got into drug running to support her bingo problem.
2. Customs officials searched a plan flying from Jamaica to Miami and found/confiscated 4000 lbs of marijuana.

If you need commentary on either of these pieces, you are a hopeless wreck of humanity.

Short term memorizing has never been all that difficult for me. I love words, I love the taste of them in my mouth and I find myself constantly filling my mouth with as many words as I can, and then spewing them out wantonly as fast as I can and at whatever I can. So I don't really understand why the kid next to me can't remember the little two-line verse he's supposed to be memorizing. Until, that is, I realize that the kid can barely read the verse, and it would take a miracle for him to understand what the verse is actually driving at, which in this case is why we should love God. Now, disregarding the obvious parellel between my experience and the kids ignorance and God and myself, I began to think about two things. 1) how quick I am to skim the knowledge offered me and discard it. and 2) my horrendous propensity to take the love of God and my ability to love Him for granted.
Most of you know that I was involved in a rather serious accident this past summer, in a matter of seconds I went from the inside of a vehicle to being the next incarnation of Superman. I had never realized how fast everything can change. How fast a split second is. And the fragile hold I have on life and my own well being. But for me, the hardest thing about the accident wasn't the accident, or the hospital, or the pain, or even the fear which assaulted me every time I drove past the accident site, the hardest thing was how normal the next day was. Your not supposed to walk away after being thrown 20 ft in the air. Your supposed to end up with your back broken and your hands mangled beyond recognition. Not wearing your seatbelt isn't supposed to save you from a closed casket funeral. Your not supposed to be blessed with almost no memory of the accident itself. But that's the way my accident worked out. Now I was really sore and stiffer than I'd ever been, but that didn't stop me from walking out of the hospital the next day and driving back to camp. After the initial hugs and queries over my well-being life settled back into its normal routine for everyone else. But it was hard for me to go back to the normal routine - my world had just been exploded around me. Suddenly it wasn't quite so important that one counselor bugged me to death, it didn't matter that it was hotter than I liked, or even that I wasn't able to counsel that week despite really looking forward to it. For the first time in my life I realized my vulnerability, and then God proceeded to hammer it home every single time I drove by the spot where we flipped. And then the summer ended and I flew back to Wisconsin. And the Midwest is a lot different from California - there's no sand, or heat. No scorpions to catch and feed to your pet (also a scorpion), no rattlers to kill with a pair of scissors, there's not a hundred kids running around screaming bloody murder from sunup to sundown (as you love every moment). And so I forgot - until a kid next to me couldn't memorize his verse.

Fine . . . . . I'll be serious

First off I would like to say Thank You to all you people who commented on my lack of posting. Sometimes, in this world, its nice to know you've been missed.

These last few weeks have been extremely eventful for me. I've had tons of new experiences and have mostly loved them. I've served on a federal jury, helped plan and work in a Missions Conference, finally figured out where my parents stand on Brittany (more ups and downs than a roller coaster), traveled to and from Ohio, had Thanksgiving with Justin's family, saw James and Aisling Solarek and burned my throat out from the chlorine in their hot tub, actually got to see Dale and Jess a little bit and realized I haven't read a good book in months (by far the longest time in my life - previously it was maybe two weeks).

Back at Maranatha I was extremely tired of the politics involved with the college. I was tired of having rules all around me that - while they made sense and were possibly necessary - were not at all what I believed in. I was almost physically ill with the way that people were destroyed because of the way they didn't fit into the 'good kid' mold. And I was upset that the system in place had no way for me as a person to voice my concerns in a way that would not be construed as rebellious and sinful.

Because of these things (and because I'm twenty-two and ready to get on with my life) I was very happy that God plopped the opportunity to go to Shannon into my lap. But I was concerned because of what I would be giving up, I wouldn't see any of my friends, I was moving away from an established routine, I wouldn't be able to see much of Britt, etc. Now I can see that - just as I needed to gain perspective from Falls before I could judge it accurately - I also needed space from Maranatha and all that I had known to be able to accurately understand what it had meant to me. I don't profess to understand everything, I can't even understand myself 90% of the time but I do know that I've started to be able to judge effectively for my own self for the first time. (sorry for the syntax of that sentence - but I try never to rewrite).

I have seen that it is possible in a staunch Midwestern community to have a traditional fundamental church that does well. But more importantly I've seen that the importance isn't the preaching or the music or the knowledge or the standards that make this difference. Its the people, the people here are genuine, there belief in the tradition that makes up most of fundamentalism is still real and unjaded. Its because of this belief that the church works - because they haven't forgotten about people and because they haven't forgotten that mistakes are part of being a human. Now I'm not really saying that I'm a traditional fundamentalist - because I'm not and I really can't stand the stigma that's attached to the title. What I'm saying is that it is very encouraging for me to see Christian faith in action; with a group of people who are truly passionate about what they believe.

And now its your turn. Is it possible that the move to postmodernism in Christianity is driven by people who are disillusioned with fundamentalist modernity, or by the desire for change, or is it possible that there really is no change in Christianity, only a rewording and retradionalizing?


p.s. Dale - this discharges me from having to write anything serious for a long time.

Whatever I feel like saying

So I realize I haven't blogged in a while (for me, not for you other retards who don't ever blog, or for those people who don't tell me their blog so I can't go and read while they can read mine!! - that's right, you know who you are).

I served on a federal jury all of last week, really quite an interesting experience. I kept thinking about Shakespeare and theatrics and staging and all sorts of odd things. I also was learning about drugs and distribution schemes, I heard the word "cumulative" enough in those five days to last me the rest of the year, I sat for five days straight and then ate and then sat, I got to spend a couple of nights with Dale and Jess in their really cool new place, I only made Jess mad at me once or twice and Dale and I argued with each other over everything - good times all round. I also drove a lot.

I think that this Thursday will either be
a) unqualifiedly (is this a word?), unbelievably, stupendously amazing. Or,
b) horrible

I also had to help get a missions conference ready (sorry Pastor Tim for not being here last week), and try to help run said missions conference.

I talked to Justin from Ironwood on Monday night so that was really cool. Dude might be going to Oxford this summer - I'm completely totally jealous. Really I am - it almost ruined the conversation with him (ok, maybe not - sarcasm doesn't communicate in print very well does it).

I'm almost sick to my stomach with terror.

I haven't been this nervous since my junior recital.

I love you all - some more than others but I still love everyone.

going to print reports, distribute reports, cut prayer sheets, set up video equipment, teach piano lessons and not fall asleep.

I would address you by name if any of you were able to communicate anything going on in your life through your blog - but since your not I think your all idiots.

(thats sarcasm)

I now will attempt to ruin every joke on my blog by explaining it ad nauseam thereby creating a commentary on the irrelevance of your actions and my actions and promoting the atrophy of the collective American brain.

Did you know that Bill Gates made some comments saying that America needs to make it harder to graduate from high school (while I tend to agree with him) its ironic coming from the richest man in the world . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . who's a high school dropout.

bye

Space

Ok, so I was able to take this astronomy class once and I loved it. The teacher and I got along great there was a math major in my lab group so I never thought in numbers, the tests made sense, the sky was cloudy so I wasn't up till all hours of the night doing observations, and I took it in summer school so it was over in about 3 weeks. (did I mention that I got an A in it?) All in all a great class. I tell you this to let you know that I tend to find space fascinating (see sci-fi post) and I really love space photographs (may Hubble live forever!!!) And so there's this photograph which, honestly, is incredible. Space, in my estimation, is one of the great proofs of God. Because of its complexity, incredibly vast distances and amazing beauty I can not help but look at it and see God. (I do realize that other people see other things - but there wrong and I'm not). So heres the picture, take a moment to marvel at the amazingness of the beauty God has given us.




By the way: this is a picture of Saturn eclipsing Sol, taken from the Cassini spacecraft. The camera was facing back into the solar system and if you can zoom in on the picture (try clicking on it). you can see Earth at the 10 o'clock position (Saturns the clock face) just inside the outermost circle.

Why do we have to settle?

What is wrong with a society that consistently denigrates and mocks one of the true achievements of mankind. Why do we feel consistently inclined to mock people who choose to spend years of their lives investing their entire beings to know the unknowable. Music is one of God's great gifts, and over time their have been men and women who have devoted themselves to the skillful (key word here) construction of music. I am consistently amazed that people who consider (and sometimes are) themselves reasonably intelligent people will ridicule classical music. Now, admittedly I am biased in this case (horribly so, in point of fact). I grew up with classical music - I get classical music - I love classical music. But!!!!! that doesn't mean that you should ignore what I'm saying here. I'm not saying that you need to like it. I'm completely fine with you not enjoying classical music and with you not understanding it. Frankly, if everyone 'got' classical music it wouldn't be a hard thing to be a musician. But why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, do you feel the need to mock the music or the musicians? Really, for those people who have actually taken the time to understand what they're talking about your just making yourself look like an idiot. The level of complexity in the philosophy, technical details, performance details, history, and performers far surpasses anything that the 'pop' realm has ever offered. There's a reason that its called a 'fine art'. It's comparable to a chef and a Mcdonalds worker. Sure, your going to get fed at both of them - but one of them will fill you up with chemicals and grease, (thereby killing you) and one of them will give you a range of flavors and tastes that will satisfy your palate and your stomach, oh, and it won't lessen your lifespan either.
Now, I will confess to listen (and even enjoy) non-classical music. Some of it is even well done. (although we're discussing 10 songs out of every million - and no, thats not an exaggeration).
But just like Mcdonalds, too much is a really, really bad thing. And too much is a very small number.
And, I think that its even worse when the people mocking it are Christians. Seriously, who else in the world should tolerate and encourage things of value if not for the Christians? In fact, its strangely ironic that I'm credited with a higher degree of respect amongst secular people for being a classical musician than I am amongst the Christians that I've met.

And now its your turn. Tell me about how I shouldn't make fun of people who like something thats not cultured. Defend yourself by saying "I guess I'm just stupid". Tell me that I'm not being tolerant while preaching for tolerance.
In reply to this I say that it is never appropriate to settle for 'good enough'. It is never right to not push your mind to the limits. It is never right to mock anything that God has given to us.

good evening friends.
Just to warn you, I don't think this post is going to be to random. Its more a personal way to work some stuff out, pardon me for being ambigous, for the lack of connected thought and (of course) if I would happen to offend anyone I am terribly sorry.
( I mean that )

Ok, so a couple of weeks ago Josh was a big idiot and did some stuff that he didn't talk with his parents about and they they weren't happy with him, and then another person brought up more issues with him, and then Josh found out that he had offended other people by not talking to his parents thereby putting them in an untenable position, then Josh found out that some of his bestest ever friends were feeling a little neglected and unloved. Josh is also trying to work his job, teach his lessons, practice for a concert, get a relationship going, apply for grad school, and stay current on the world at large. Needless to say, I either failed or completed the above items somewhat shoddily.

One of the reasons I tend to stay away from making deep, spiritual applications in my posts is because it always rings false when I try. It sounds cliched, tired, and weak, but in this case I have to make the application. In the midst of the craziness of my life - I got away from relying on God, and from the people that God had put in my life to sustain me. I got wrapped up in my own desires and wishes and forgot to keep God guiding me. As a result God stopped the train (rather violently) that he had started so that I could realize that I needed my conductor back (sorry for the cliched analogy).

Soooo couple of things.
1. I apologize to my friends for not being there all the time for them. Its not a lack of desire but more of trying to balance a new life with an old one. I love you all (and I do mean that in a mocking way.)
2. I admit that I'll never be good enough to punch my own ticket.

I went to Chambers Choir today for the first time since I graduated and Dad had this Hungarian guy (missionary to Hungary) come and sing and he sang "Why should He love me so" and when he was done he said something like "I don't know why He should love me, I still wonder at that" More than anything, I forgot God. I forgot His mercy, His love, His compassion. I became selfish and withdrawn, closeminded and arrogant. I forgot His holiness, and His judgement allowing myself to be drawn from His side and forgetting the price that was/is inevitable. And so I apologize to each and every one of you that I have hurt - some of you I need to talk to in person and I will.

I love you all

p.s. sorry for the rambles - if I didn't make any sense I am sorry - it was at least cathartic for me.

Fall Days

Saturday's.
Football
College Football
Sunny Skies
Plain Doughnuts
Cinnamon Sugar Doughnuts
Hot Apple Cider
Leaves
Crisp Weather
Sweaters
Fire
Peat
Trepidation
Anticipation
Chores
School
Books
Travel

p.s. Thanks to the Ironwood peeples (I like that spelling better) for commenting. I miss you all

seven

Do you ever have numbers that you think are complete?
For me 19 is an incomplete number it needs to be 20. but 3 is perfect and 4 should be five. 11 and 12 and 13 are all bad but 14 and 15 and 16 would all be complete. This has always kind of intrigued me, also, the fact that when I spout off random numbers (it happens a lot btw) I tend to choose numbers that I feel are complete. For me, any number that contains "seven" in a predominant place is complete and so I use it a lot. "seventeen thousand times this, seven hundred times that, etc. etc. etc."

I really wanted to tell you all that.

Now, on to other more interesting things.

I really don't like being a news blog (where I tell you - 'I went here and saw so-and-so, and it was sooo cool, and we went shopping, and then we went to his house and watched movies, and I saw this movie and it was great'
MY BROTHERS, THESE THINGS OUGHT NOT SO TO BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to know, or if I do - you can tell me in person.
So in that light, Ironwood was at Maranatha today and it was really cool to see them. [side note of not insignificance: (great english huh?) I'm curious which of you ironwood peeps read my blog. I know Katy does and Matty. So if I met you at Ironwood and you don't normally comment please comment so I can find out who reads. and yes, this is a shameless ploy to have my ego stroked (or destroyed) by realizing how many (or how few) people actually read my blog]. And I got an email months ago from an Ironwoodie that I just got yesterday and I'm going to teach a piano lesson.

Waldo on, friends
Your friend, Waddles

Waldoing

So growing up I always heard about these "Waldo" books. And I wondered - why in the world would anybody want to sit for hours and look for this stupid little idiot in a red-and-white stocking hat on a printed page. And so I scoffed and mocked and teased and decided to (at the first opportunity) go and get one of the books. And as I sat down and began looking at it I was completely blown away. At the millions of details given in the pictures, the absurdity of the situations found all over every page, the comic genius needed to be able to think of anything like it. And then I started looking for Waldo AND IT WAS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, HARD!!!!!!! Now, I'm not the most patient of all people so I will admit that I didn't always find Waldo on every page, and I even 'gasp' looked at the back of the book to find the answers. But I really liked the book(s). Fast-forward to today, I saw the name Waldo in a post on a tech blog I like and I said: "Eureka!!!! I have found it, the perfect nonsensical title to the most retarded blog ever, hurrah!!!!!!,
'I gloat
tirra-lirra-la
Hear Me'
(Family Members are not allowed to answer: but what book is this from?)." So for the present, my new blog name is "Here's Waldo"
on a slightly related note: I'm thinking of changing my sign-in name to Waddles if only for the shock value. thoughts???

As regards daily trivia: I was looking for the music thing, I also accept: hair, statesmen (Beethoven does tend to be a bit of a stretch here though) and wacko's (all to smart for their own good)

Coming Soon: Josh opens up and tells you how he watched a flower grow. Stay tuned for this riveting account.

oops

Did you ever have a couple of days that were really hard to get through. Since Saturday night's been like that for me - stupid decisions that I'd made came back to haunt me and, man, is it irritating and humiliating to look at yourself and realize how wrong/dumb you really are. Anyway, that's why I haven't posted.

g'night friends/colleagues/family/peoples/immigrants/athletes/etc.

Daily Trivia

Who was Paderewski and what did he have in common with Einstein and Beethoven?

Part II

So lately I've been wondering why I like sci-fi.
I mean, the acting is horrible, the plot is despicable (to plagarize Yustin: a vast void with wisps of plot floating across it - not a direct quote, but you get the point), the cinematography is so bad that the blind man on the corner can do better. Plus, (and probably most damning) it spouts more cliches than any other genre of movie/tv. [note: in this paragraph, and in my life, I really only like sci-fi shows and movies. NOT books.]{of course, no genre can hope to compete with the chick flick for spouting cliche's, in fact its an insult to every genre of movie/tv to be compared to the chick flick}. Also, sci-fi has always been the domain of the nerd and the geek (labels I've been trying to escape since the beginning of time). But I really like sci-fi. oh, well

p.s. I had a piano student this week who devised a code for the phrase "Hi, how are you." The code was had probably 5 times the amount of letters that it would take to spell out "Hi, how are you" BUT!!!!!!!! YOU COULD PLAY THE WHOLE THING AS A SONG ON THE PIANO!!!!!!!! (she was pretty excited about that) [admittedly it did sound a little pointilistic, but who's complaining?] Another exciting day in the life of Josh

My apology

I apologize to those who don't like my new look.
Unfortunately I find it fresh and invigorating. [this probably means that I don't really apologize, but in order to keep the galaxy running around in circles I'll at least say I do]. I sit and look at all of these other blogs and they are almost all slanted to very dark or very light color schemes. And I got tired of it. plain and simple. so this is my way of stickin' it to the collective man.

"I won't have the same blog background as everyone else - so there!!!! Because having a different blog background than any other person I know makes me so much cooler than everyone else. It makes me the most importantest blogger person that I know. Take that 'man'!!!! (disclaimer: man in this paragraph has been used in a strictly gender neutral kind of way, its use is not intended to denigrate, demean or in any way destroy a womans concept of self)"

(seriously: sorry it doesn't appeal to everyone, if it gets to the point that people don't read my blog because of the color scheme I'll think about changing it.)

Any way, I've been thinking about the name and I really don't have any ideas - soooo this is me asking you for help.
Any comments/suggestions/insults/rude names/horribly-insensitive-but-amazingly-funny-stuff-that-people-should -ever-laugh-at-but-do, or anything else that you want to add let me know and I'll try to figure something permanent out.

The title of this post is actually "My Apologetic" but if I named it that my whole first three paragraphs would be meaningless, and I couldn't have that happening.

part I

While perusing the net today I found a website that categorically stated that it was wrong for me to have a personal blog. In fact it was sinful. for me. to write. on this blog. (emphasis mine)

I said . . . . . ummmmmmmm ok.

in other notes:
I've been recently reminded (by myself) that I have only posted a grand total of 39 times.
Dearest reader - I do abjectly apologize for not spending more time with you.
My only regret is that I have only one voice to offer for my blog. But I digress, actually in point of fact my whole life is a digression and so this is a digression of a digression of a digression - but you get the point don't you?

Gotta say I love sunsets [not so sure about long walks on the beach though] (hope that doesn't lose me to many hetero points).

Someone from california has a blog named "weedeater" and he talks about grass (the kind you step on) and he left me a comment and so naturally I checked it out and I liked his blog and the name still makes me laugh.

(note: don't take a breath while reading the last paragraph and get faster and louder and higher-pitched throughout the whole thing. I'm trying to make my blog interactive and this is the best way that I know).

Ladies and Gentlemen

I present unto you . . .

. . . to be continued

so . . . .

So I wanted a new look and I have to admit its pretty shwait (just try saying it).
the names in flux but everything else is fairly set. I'll try to get links up but no promises to anyone. Also the weather outside is beautiful and I'm in the office all day.

May all your children never walk the short road

p.s. my wallpaper is now a tiled picture of an ugly baby - high comedy.

To publicity and beyond.

I'm tired

This past summer I worked at Ironwood Christian Camp - great experience, I loved it. The first night we were there they got all the new summer staff together and divided them up into four teams and played this game called the Pygmy Gold Rush or something like that. The whole purpose of the game was to "get the gold" and we proceeded to play for the next 3 hours. At the end of the game (after our team had almost deciphered the clues and the rules [purposely left vague]) we learned that the whole game was rigged and that it was virtually impossible to win. In fact, the only way that winning was possible was for everyone to put aside their personal dreams of glory and to build alliances with the other teams - to become one giant team. This was probably the biggest lesson I learned in camp, and as I've come back home I've been continuing to try to apply that lesson to my life. And so I feel the need to vent about something -

I'm tired of people spitting on each other.

I'm tired of fundamentalists lashing out at evangelicals, I'm tired of evangelicals lashing out at fundamentalists. I'm tired of Republican vs. Democrat, liberal vs. conservative, African-American/Hispanic/Minorities vs. Whites, Al Franken vs Ann Coulter, CNN vs Fox. I'm tired of college students preaching that BJ/Maranatha/Northland/West Coast/IBC/Clearwater/Crown is the best. I'm tired of adults being satisfied with making rules instead of teaching kids whats right, I'm tired of kids actively rebelling against the rules because they disagree with them. I'm tired of having to defend Christian politicking (why in the world should Christianity EVER be political?), and I'm tired of being involved with Christian politicking.

I don't have anything original to say, or anything very profound;

I'm just tired.

past or present

Realism or Creative Expression
Which is more accurate

Cosmically speaking

So I have finally gotten a cell phone and while this is not big news to most people. It is to me (kinda sorta right up there with your license and other major firsts in a life).
I want you to know that I have the coolest wallpaper in the entire world. It's weird trippy flowers done up in sixties colors (orange, beige, peach, brown, green, baby blue, yellow, white) its officially amazing.

The real reason I'm posting is to castigate, shred, destroy, verbally mangle all of you people who do not post.

There is no excuse

none

not even a little one.

Don't complain about school, don't complain about work, don't even comlain about having anything to say (you don't need to talk about anything to make the blog work - and there's been enought stuff going on in the world that you can talk about anything)

PUBLIC HEALTH NOTICE: SURGEON GENERALS WARNING
Eating Spinach can cause to you to get E.Coli, thats right ladies and gentleman kids the world over have been vindicated in their age long quest to get out of eating the leafy green vegetable by the recent announcment that spinach has left a swath of destruction in 10 states and killed at least 1 person.
So the next time Popeye comes on the TV hide your kids eyes when he eats his spinach and then tell them that he eats something healthy to make him grow strong (Like a Hamdog).

And all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity.

{none}

There is no real reason to post. I just want to
For those of you who don't know - I live in Illinois.
If you care, there you go - If you don't care, there you go.

I am now a secretary.
And I leave you with this painting

its another Jackson Pollack. I really like this one.

Anyway props to
Brett Favre - for proving he can still play
(oh wait - no he didn't)
Art Shell - for proving that the poker face is only good when you have a gameplan behind it
For Andy Roddick - who once again proves that its impossible to beat a guy who actually plays a complete game of tennis rather than just having an amazing serve
USA basketball - for losing again
California cheese - for being disgusting
And car problems

Does the theater really matter?

Ok so I've just got done reading Dale's blog and the comments posted on his "Nasb is so two months ago" post. And I gotta say that in some ways it was the funniest thing I've read in a while and in some ways it was the saddest thing I've read in a while and in other ways it was a great challenge to me intellectually and most importantly (to me at least) spiritually.

A digression. I'm not a big fan of anonymous commentors - it seems kind of sneaky to me. Please understand that there occasions when knowledge of a name will cloud the message given and I understand that. And there are times when a name would be innapropriate and I understand that but as a general rule I don't really care for anonymous commentors. Digression over.

I'm not particularly into disillusionment, I don't like it personally when I'm disillusioned, I tend to react wrongly to people I have been disillusioned about and then I don't like myself either. All in all it tends to be a vicious cycle.

I also do not like ignorance, more than anything in my life it irritates me more than I can possibly say when people don't see their own shortcomings and the shortcomings with their own belief system.

As a belief system Christianity (from a human viewpoint) is one of the easiest "religions" to reject. because it makes so little human sense. It doesn't make sense to willingly sacrifice dreams, ambitions, desires, opportunity, fun, to deny yourself pleasures, to love others more than yourself, and to do it all because a book written a long time ago seems to tell certain people that. And for a long time thats all I understood about Christianity was this list of things that I had to give up. You might even say that I had Christian illusions. But my big problem was that I did see Christianity as a belief system, I saw it as a religion because, frankly, for the most part thats what I saw in the Christians around me. And if I'm choosing a belief system based on what I have to do and rewards and everything, believe me it would be a lot more tempting to be an LDS or a Catholic or even a Muslim than it would be to be a Baptist.

What I missed was that Christianity isn't about a system, it is about my relation to God. And he is willing to accept me WITH ALL MY SINS as a son of his. This was extremely powerful to me - when I was saved God knew all the sins that I would commit in the future and in spite of that knowledge, God still desired to save me. In a sense I lost my Christian illusions.

(I will now wrap this up ASAP) This Christian disillusionment led to a disillusionment with the same Christians I saw around me living a belief system - the proscribed ritual of the Christian life. And for a while it was tempting to reject them because of their beliefs. But God does not promise to work the same path with everyone - only that His desire is for to everyone to believe on Him and to continually draw closer to Him. And so I have to learn to love those people even as some of them seem to reject me.

If you want to talk about this I'd almost prefer if you didn't leave a comment. you can email me at piano_player21@hotmail.com if you want (there's an _ in between piano and player).

Wow!!!

Folks I am completely speechless. I thought I had heard it all - from a guy who believes that the government blew up the WTC towers to Congress calling french fries french fries, from having a 16oz bottle of shampoo cost only 3 dollars more than an 8 oz one to reading a story about kids who charged 13 cents for one bunch of bananas and 27 cents for two bunches.

But I was wrong

Thats right, I realized tonight that there are still depths of the human psyche that I do not understand and have not fathomed because tonight I read about the
(drumroll please)

HAMDOG!!!!

Thats right America - forget about your heart attack inducing Monster Burgers, or gigantic plates of cheese fries, gargantuan ("you know - I've always loved that word, gargantuan, and I so rarely get a chance to use it in a sentence") slices of apple pie topped with melting scoops of ice cream, don't even consider the messy fingers of homemade ribs or the fat content of that succulent steak on your plate. Put away from you your Twinkies, HoHo cakes, Nutty Bars, chocolate chip cookies, Oreos, Cheez-it (both regular and White Cheddar) and please, please, please don't talk to me about candy bars. None of these delectable things live up to the sheer, unmitigatedly unadulterated genius of the Hamdog (I wanted to see what two words that start with un- look like side-by-side, now I know).

Now for all of you wanting to know what a Hamdog is --- I'll tell you.

First you take a hot dog
Then you wrap it in a beef patty
Then you deep fry it
Then you put it into a hoagie bun
Then you cover it with chili
Then you cover that with cheese
Then you put the onions on it
(hopefully you've already put it onto a plate)
Because we have only barely reached artery-clogging status in our morbidly obese nation we then put a fried egg on top of everything else
And then we put two (2!!!) FISTFULLS of fries (french not freedom).

Ladies and Gentleman - everyone's next favorite fast food burger!!!!
(can you even possibly imagine BK doing a commercial on this - or even Golden Arches with its new yuppie, health food kick? This is unreal . . . the comedic possibilities are virtually endless . . . I need to stop)

Note: I did not make this up, this burger(?) is actually sold at Mulligans Pub in Atlanta (no I didn't go there nor did any of my friends - the story was found on cbsnews.com, so there).

11 x 5 = 55 (its 11:55 right now)

I haven't a clue

As I ponder’d in silence,
Returning upon my poems, considering, lingering long,
A Phantom arose before me, with distrustful aspect,
Terrible in beauty, age, and power,
The genius of poets of old lands,
As to me directing like flame its eyes,
With finger pointing to many immortal songs,
And menacing voice, What singest thou? it said;
Know’st thou not, there is but one theme for ever-enduring bards?
And that is the theme of War, the fortune of battles,
The making of perfect soldiers?

Be it so, then I answer’d,
I too, haughty Shade, also sing war—and a longer and greater one than any,
Waged in my book with varying fortune—with flight, advance, and retreat—Victory deferr’d and wavering,
(Yet, methinks, certain, or as good as certain, at the last,)—The field the world;
For life and death—for the Body, and for the eternal Soul,
Lo! too am come, chanting the chant of battles,
I, above all, promote brave soldiers.

I feel constrained to give out thoughts and great, ponderous pronouncements on how amazing that God could use me and to tell everyone how much I enjoyed the work that God did in my life this summer. And then I realize that I'm no better than Whitman doing my own promoting of my accomplishments and trying to make people to see how much I gave for this summer.

But in the end I am tongue-tied.

My mouth is as empty as my brain is full.

And I am remanded into silence.

To God be the Glory

From me to you

Aaaahhhhhh
Members of the the world - Thank you for joining me in this quest that is called life. I have no idea if what will happen will be good or bad. I only know that it will be interesting.

I have absolutely no idea why I wrote that last paragraph. I don't even think it means anything. So - Ironwood was absolutely incredible in every possible way. God was so good to me in allowing me to be there and be a small part in Gods plan for the summer. It is good to be back but I do miss the friends and family that I left in Cali. Anyway may the blessings of the Sasquatch continue to uphold you and exalt you.

Peace brethren

[Fwd: Re: And they're off . . .]

----------- Original Message -----------
Subject: Re: And they're off . . .
From: joshledgerwood@ironwood.org
Date: Thu, June 22, 2006 12:57 am
To: sambrock@ironwood.org
jledgerwood.ironwood@blogspot.com

Blog #1

Today a girl kissed a lizard.

Note: it was not at my instigation. In fact I didn't even hear about it
until dinnertime.

Apart from that the day has been uneventful. Just your usual - building
a fence, digging holes, talking to kids, doing a special in the service,
running crowd control at the climbing wall, sitting by the lake trying to
convince a 10 yr old of the sanity of jumping of the dock, swinging on the
rope swing or traveling down a water slide (I'm not sure if I succeeded).
Oh, and don't let me forget the driving around looking for railway ties
and the testing out of the kids games and the destruction of a picnic
table and the eating of meals and the running of the
Tumbleweed, and the fellowship with counselors (I think that I got about
half the day).

Seriously, the last two and a half weeks have been awesome. God has
stretched me in ways that I didn't plan on getting stretched in (like
helping to build cabins and fences and lifeguarding) and enabled me to
help in ways that are more ordinary (working with the music). At the
midpoint of the first week God has already blessed me with challenges and
encouraged me with success when I allow Him too.

Hello from Ironwood

Hello fellow bloggers and all of you people who don't blog but still leave comments on my blog and to all of you people who don't blog because your too lazy. I'm in Matty's office at Ironwood and this last week has been an amazing week for me. If you don't do anything else in your life come to Ironwood for at least a visit - if you don't your stupid. the end.

Today I passed my 500 yds swim test
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot begin to tell you how hard that was for me and what a relief it is to have done it. The coolest thing though wasn't me passing but that as soon as I started swimming like eight guys gave up their lunch time to come swim the laps with me. On top of that Matty came up to me right before that and told me he would swim them with me too. That right there made my entire summer. That was so amazing.

Anyway, I have agreed to do little blogs once or twice a week for Ironwood that will be published on their home page. I've set up my account to be able to do email posts and so will also be posting those on here. I'll try to give you people some exclusive information but won't make any promises.

Gotta run but I love you all

(no really I do)

12:30 musings

Well I don't have anything long to say so I'm going to string together as many thoughts as I can in one post.

Today was one of the first days in a couple of weeks that was legitmately beatiful. I loved the soft feeling of the air and the bright sunshine - the temp was (for me) absolutely perfect. I have slowed down my reading consumption because its hard to find books to feed it. I have instead taken up reading comic books. Now I know that lots of people out there will laugh at me and call me "childish, immature, one-who-has-no-life" and I would agree with you. But I realized tonight that I am equally bored with comics and so I'm going to lay off of those for a while. Tomorrow I think I will have to finally give my room that deep cleaning. [for those of you who don't know this - one of the greatest bane's of my existence is the fact that I have to clean my room, one of the coolest aspects of Beauty's room is that it magically cleans itself, believe me if I had a genie I would wish that I would always live in a magically neat house where everything was easy to find and never looked trashy] so I think that I'll end up being grumpy [but just a little :)]. BTW the utar is now sitting on my desk and I take it out and bang on it.
BIG, GIGANTIC, HUMONGOUS, EARTH-SHATTERING NEWS
I am now the proud owner of a 30gb video ipod.

Hip
Hip
Hurray


Hip
Hip
Hurray

Hip
Hip
Hurray

and there was great rejoicing

Yes the eponymous scales have fallen from my eyes and I now see how the rest of the world functions.

Even cooler: I got a black one.

(for those of you who care: I apologize for the more than normally atrocious punctuation. I actually considered not doing any punctuation at all for about five minutes until I got bored with the thought.)

Now for a serious bit:

My pastor at my church in Ill. told the church on Sunday that he was resigining to take a position in Georgia. I've only had the privilege of knowing him for about two years but what was incredible to me was the love that he had inspired in the church members. As he read his resignation letter the entire church was sobbing. It was such a huge blessing to see that it is possible to run a church with love and compassion and balance while still following the dictates of the Bible.

And I think that wraps it up:

"snick-snack the tale is done"

Are you Boring?

Recently, thanks to a certain reader (hey Matt) I have been accused of not having a life. Now having a strange and twisted mind I began to think: "What exactly constitutes a life?" Now we all think of people who don't have lives - those geeks who play online games for hours on end, people who hide in their dorm rooms for no good reason, people who study to much etc. etc. etc.
But go ask any person who "doesn't have a life" and I guarantee you that they will believe that they do have a life.
I think (scratch that: I know) that too often we judge having a life based on what we think is cool and normal. For me - having a life may mean practicing piano for two hours, going home and reading 4 books while munching on swedish fish, then banging on my utar and finally falling asleep watching MXC. For other people it may be going and playing basketball for 4 hours (ruining your knees by the way) and then staying up till 3 in the morning talking. Soooo, what I want to know is your idea of "having a life"

p.s. I'm feeling slightly satirical, so don't be surprised if I reply in a sarcastic manner. in fact I might post something horrendous next time - I just need to think about what.

R&U

A number of months ago (a year and a half to two years to be more precise) one of the music stores at which I teach lessons got a strange African tribal drum called
(drumroll please . . . )

(to be read in your basso profundo, NBA announcer voice)







The UDU!!!!

As you can see its not much more than a jug with two holes in it. In order to play the udu you smack the jug with your hands around, on, or away from the holes. Very simple, but surprisingly thereaputic even cathartic. I instantly knew that someday I wanted one of these but being a poor college student I knew that day was sometime in the future.


Well as one coach said:
"The future is now"

Ladies and Gentleman let me present you to:

My UtarAs you can see its flatter than the Udu (its actually the bass drum in the family), it also produces much more resonance and has very cool sounds. Plus when your really mad at someone/something you can pretend their face is the sounding hole and you get to bash it.

Anyway in the last 9 days we have had 8 days of rain. TAKE THAT GLOBAL WARMING!!!

Candy

Candy, Candy, Candy, all the live long day. Candy is so yummy, and so sweet. I like it hard, soft, gummy, crunchy, or the kind you have to suck on, sour too. I like chocolate, caramel, peanut butter, fruit-flavored, basically anything that doesn't have coconut or any kind of nut other than peanuts.

But the best candy of all is:



Swedish Fish








If you've never had them your an idiot.
If you don't like them, then your an even bigger idiot.
I'm sitting here eating a handful of my 3.5 lb box (rock on Jess and Dale) and thinking about the incomporable taste and sheer genius of the candy.

And you losers don't get any
hahahahahahahaha

I'm BAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!

Hail to the liberated college students, may your summers be long and your worries small

And may you return to your classes in the fall (maniacal laughter)

On Friday last week I graduated. Then I had my open house (which, despite my idiocy in not handing out more invitations, went very well). Then on Saturday the fun began - Not Justin coming and spending the weekend (though that was cool) but I GOT TO REALLY READ.

You see, I am an addict to reading - do you remember Dale's post where he told the world that he was getting himself high on reading? Well I understood that post and didn't understand why that was different than normal life. I inhale books - I'll read a 300 page book in about 2 hours. I can read all day, most of the night and then all day the next day and I love it. So I've read about 10 books since Saturday. (Note: this is why I haven't blogged - reading takes precedence over any other form of enjoyment. [note on the Note: this is probably a good reason why I don't have a girlfriend]). So I've read 4-5 Sc-Fi books, 2-3 novels, a little C.S. Lewis, a little Piper, getting ready to read Rob Bell and J.D. Salinger and all is right with the world. I feel like I've been climbing a roller-coaster hill for the past three years and I'm finally over the top and getting to enjoy that humongous hill.

So I feel sorry for you, you pitiful peons wasting your summers away with cheap movies, days at the beach, hanging with friends etc. etc. etc. Because you have missed out on the greatest enjoyment of all - a good book, no stupid interruptions, fresh air, warm sunlight, ahhhhhhh I 'm relaxed just writing about it. The best thing about it is that in August I know what you did last summer. But me . . . . I've been so far out of space, time, mind, imagination, to Xanadu and back, that nobody can ever take my journey away or trivialize it. It is completely unique and unparalled.

Now goodbye - I've got a book to read.

(there are three movie references buried in my last, real paragraph. If you can find them [one is easier than the others] [one is relatively recent, the other is both new and old, the last one is from a movie so important that everyone in America should be required to write a doctoral thesis on it, and most people don't even know it exists.] you get 10000 points --- even though the points don't matter. )

hurray?

Well, the end is here. Tonight is Baccalaureate, tomorrow is Commencement and the Registrars Office told me that I have already officialy graduated.

"Ladies and Gentleman, the fat lady has started to sing"

I'm not sure if I'm supremely excited - because if I'm excited why do I feel like a piece of regurgitated salami? I'm really happy to be done with classes, tests, projects, writing papers, endless waits in eternal lines for never-ending rehearsals that are always late and perpetualy frustrating. But I'm really going to miss my friends - being able to learn with them, travel with them, eat with them, tease them, make a fool of myself, learn from them, make fun of classes and argue the finer points of postmodernism and English literature. Mostly I miss the people who have gone before, Sleeps, Whit, Matty, Brian, Nina, to name a few. Too all of you friends who are still here (I'm not listing names cause: 1. I'll forget someone and have them mad at me and 2. you should already know who you are) its been a great ride. I'm not sure what precisely I have to do in the future but I know that I'm hesitating between dancing an Irish jig, running to the porcelain god, and crying.

THE END

"We have a Code Red!!!"

Ok, as we have grown up there are various milestones in our lives that separate children from teenagers and teenagers from adults and adults from middle-aged people and middle-aged people from old people and old people from dead people. One of the most important of these is getting that all-important driver's license. That plastic card that is incalculably priceless (and yes I meant to modify priceless with incalculable, so there, Justin). Anyway this post is about my good friend Brittany. you see, Brittany has had her permit for three years (THREE WHOLE YEARS OF HER LIFE HAS BEEN WASTED) [ok: I'm reasonably calm now]. Now being a good friend I have endeavored to "encourage" (read: shame) her into getting her license. And then I found out the crowning piece of knowledge.


Her parents told her that they would buy, BUY, her her own car when she got her license AND SHE STILL DOESN'T HAVE IT.


So blogging society/culture. Do me a favor make a comment on this post or visit Brittany's blog through my links (New Feature to this Blog) and tell her how much she needs her license.

Social What?

Thought that I have been mulling over for a while now. Why do we think that social skills are so important? I was at Bible Printing one day and the son of the printer was in the building - he's shy and being homeschooled probably doesn't help. Having no kids his age around is also an important factor in the equation. One of the other people with us on the way home made some dumb comment about his (the kid) being homeschooled and having no social skills and it really rubbed me wrong. Just the arrogance of assuming that because the boy found it difficult to relate to other people somehow made him dumb. Then I started thinking - when you talk about men who have changed history you don't deal with a list of people who are easy to get along with: Paul was a fanatic, Jesus was rather revolutionary, Einstein was lost in his own world, Voltaire was arrogant, to name a very select few. There aren't many worldchangers that I could think of that had real people skills. So why do we emphasize and place such a high degree of importance on being able to socialize? Is this a Christian thing, a fundamentalist thing that we have to fellowship with each other and if you can't do that your failing. Is it a school thing whereby those who attended "normal" classes make a clique and exclude those who are different because they don't understand them? Is it Biblical that we emphasize these skills? Does the Bible command or teach us that it is necessary to socialize/get along with people? (Aside: not talking about loving people here - thats obviously commanded). So, tell me what you think: is this emphasis Biblical or not, is it brought about by culture (if so, is it popular culture or Christian culture), is it important to ask these questions? or any other answer to any question you might want to come up with.

Blankness

I love steak,
Steak is so good
Steak is so much better than ham, chicken, turkey, veal, lamb, mutton, crab, mussel, kiwi, condor, bass, salmon, platypus, and french fries.
Steak is juicy and slides apart in your mouth
I love steak

I got to go to Steakfire on Friday night and apart from having to wait an hour to get to the table it was great. I got a Kansas City Strip steak 16-18 oz. of pure unadulterated bliss. And best of all I went for free (it was the get together dinner for the string prep employees.) So bloggers may you stew in your own juices and feel the envy building up inside of you forevermore. Hahahahahahahahahahahahah (maniacal laughing).

Also, the Jackson Pollack painting seems to have taken a little grief - (see my last post and comments), I'm here to tell you that Pollack doesn't care. Apart from the obvious fact that he's dead and beyond caring is the equally obvious fact that nobody liked him in his lifetime and few people like him after his lifetime.

Another aside: Props to Chelsie for coming through with her promise to do a Starburst post. Must say that it was mildly interesting although I didn't detect the same level of caring in that post than is normally present in a Czichray post. (btw chelsie needs to become a modern painter so that fifty years from now I can point to a painting and say "This is a Czichray" - it just sounds so right).

Unfortunately anonymous ruined my competition and told the whole world what "nemo" meant. So thanks whoever you are for ruining everything (note: this is sarcasm, I actually hated that person for ruining the discussion and stopping the slim possiblity of getting more comments on that post).

odds and ends

I love finals, I love the panic that invariably sets in to half the student body, I love the time I get to spend with friends, I love the feeling of almost being done, I love the sense of accomplishment when I do a good job on a final, even the pressure I feel to study and review everything I'm supposed to have learned during the year. Its GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat. Anyway heres some thoughts.

• my room looks like a tornado went through it
• my mom got me a finals care package (I love mom)
• I have three finals tomorrow
• I will graduate one week from tomorrow
• My car had two flat tires last night
• I estimate that I have spent roughly 24 hours blogging already
• Actually, I have no idea how many hours I have spent
• My room is still a wreck
• I wore sandals today because I didn't know I wasn't allowed to
• Justin is hanging with me after finals/graduation
• I'm graduating
• I go to Ironwood in just over a month
• Philip is an amazing brother
• Ruthann doesn't blog enough
• I got mentioned in Heather's blog
• I still haven't figured out how to do links yet so have patience bloggers
• I would be fascinated to know how many people know what the word nemo means. (note: if you comment on this please do NOT state what it means simply say that you do - I want to know if anybody - besides the normal exclusions - know what I've entitled my blog)

The next bit of this post will be devoted to this picture

This is a painting by Jackson Pollack called "Lavender Mist"

Thoughts or reactions or diatribes would be appreciated.

As an aside: I almost wrote a post on anime, but the inspiration wasn't there and so you receive this somewhat different post.

Does anybody out there know the story of Jason and the Argonauts? (not the awful movie that got made - the Greek story) anyway I was reading a book of Charles Addams cartoons (he's the inspiration behind the Addams family tv series) and he had this cartoon of a test rat running through a maze with a minautre bored Minotaur in the maze, I thought that was pretty cool.

To close I leave you with this Calvin and Hobbes cartoon (btw: Calvin and Hobbes is the best cartoon strip ever - nothing produced today can even come close [it would be like comparing an anthill to Mt Everest] and nothing in the past surpasses its genius, both literary and drawing, or its humor)

Well good night friends

On fashion

Why are Christians allowed to be fashionless? why aren't we allowed to know what it is to dress nicely (girls you too are included in this diatribe). Is there some verse in the Bible that I don't know about that forces people, once they are saved, to become culturally backwards? Are we not allowed to make ourselves look presentable? Why does the combover still exist? Why do we have girls that still don't know how to do their hair? I mean come one, if the world is going to laugh at us make them laugh at us for the apparent absurdity of our faith and doctrine, not our outward appearance. (Note: this is a post that extended readers will probably see again because this continually bugs me). I am tired of going to school and seeing maybe three guys who know how to make a reasonable outfit. (I'm not even talking about stunning - just a normal, boring white shirt-khaki pants-matching tie kind of outfit.) And girls -- if I had a dollar for every time a girl wears something that is either: a. completely 100% wrong for her (complexion, hair color, personality etc.) or b. Out of style I would be a very, very, very, very, very, very, rich man.
Aside: lack of money is probably the only accetable excuse for this problem, but even with a shortage of the all necessary cash you can still look presentable.
This lack of fashion also extends to culture: I'm not talking about cheap summer thrillers, or horrendously, disgustingly, awful Christian novels, or blockbuster movies. I'm talking about painting, theatre, (real) books, intelligent conversation, sculpture, architecture, philosophy - i.e. that which separates Western culture and defines it, not the cheap pandering to the masses that is prevalent in our society today. Since when did Christianity serve as an acceptable excuse for ignorance?

End

There are many things in the world that I hate. Some of them are too offensive to be named ever, some are too offensive to be named in this blog, but this post isn't about hate or love or even indifference. Although all of these emotions are contained in my topic.

I sit back and consider endings. Life is full of ends: end of day, hour, second, century, relationship, meals, classes, lives, cars, trips, good times, bad times, college, grad school, all ends and all beginnings. In the semi-permament state of this world there is death and renewal all the time.

My grandad is 81. He worked hard in this life and provided for his family, now he sits all day in a chair in the sun because he can't do anything else. His face beams like the sun when his grandkids come and sit with him and talk to him. He sleeps all the time except when he goes to church -- you see, my grandfather made a profession of faith last summer. Frankly, I don't even know if he remembers the decision, and there's only the hope and belief in my heart that it was true. My grandmother is in a nursing home recuperating from a broken ankle. She too is 81 and she is sad. Her life is slipping away from her, her normally sharp mind has started to fail her and she is scared to admit that she is incapable of surviving on her on. She fears death, and a couple of days ago she asked my mom to bring her a bible so she could read it. She raised a great family, all of her kids are honest, upright people with great marriages and good families, all of them love their parents and want whats best for them. Right now we're struggling to find care options for them once g-ma comes home from the nursing home. G-pa wants to live with family, G-ma would much rather live on her own.

At the end of my brown study I consider my own life, how I have been blessed with the ability to serve God, how God has given me opportunity and I'm scared because I don't want to waste what I've been given.

But this post isn't about me, or really even about my grandparents, its about ending. Life is a constant process of ending and humans are in a constant state of dying. Until I am able to continually die I will never have the satisfaction of ending.

And so I end.

"Have you had your silence today?"

I don't want to talk about the sound of silence (although I think it has a sound) I just want to know if you have enjoyed silence. I'm not talking about nobody talking to you while you study or check your email, I'm talking about you shutting everything off (EVERYTHING!!! Including cellphones, computers, pda's, books, people, girlfriend/boyfriend, your mind) and just sitting. This is the most relaxing thing to do (and at this point in the semester we need relaxation).
I often think that old-timers had it all figured out. We used to have this neighbor who every night during the warm weather months he would come and sit on his porch from like 5 until 9. Wouldn't really talk much just sat there; now me being the idiotic elementary/high school kid couldn't figure out why he would want to do that until I tried it. It's amazing how things get put into perspective when you sit and watch the world go by. Its amazing what you hear: birds chirping, people talking and laughing, children playing, your heart beating, the thud of a baseball getting caught, the intensity of the basketball game at the park, the TV inside, etc. And at the end of your break (be it five minutes or 4 hours) you feel refreshed, blessed to have been able to spend time doing nothing. Its amazing what you learn about God when you just sit there (the whole "Be still and know that I am God" is an extremely interesting concept in that God tells the reader to sit down, shut up, and realize God's Godness). So here's a challenge for you: take 5, 10 minutes today and sit down and shut up. Don't check your mail or think about that project, forget about the finals or those demerits, let go of the job/money concerns (your going to have those for the next twenty years no matter what you do and so stressing about them now wont help any anyway). Instead of these distractions look at the world around you, listen to the world around you. Look at the amazing complexity of a blade of grass and the simplicity of a field of grass, pay attention to the amazing blue that the sky is (or the grey that it is, there both amazing), listen to the sounds around you, your dormmates involved in their own lives, sports practice outside, children playing, birds singing, the breeze blowing outside, your own heart beating. Get away from your normal routine and just let the world go by.


For no points but many props can somebody tell me the ancient pop culture reference contained in the title. [as with all internet competitions RuthAnn is not allowed to join and Dale is also forbidden entry in this competition.])

Jam Writing

Hello friends,
When I was in, I think, sixth grade or something my parents had me watch this video series about how to be a good student. And this teacher guy on the tape said various inane piles of garbage like "Listen to the instructions" "Read the instructions" "Do the instructions" "Don't not do the instructions" (actually beyond what I'm about to say I have no idea what he said) so the only thing thats stuck with me is this idea of jam writing which is basically write anything and everything that comes into your head until you feel like stopping. So I went to the senior activity tonight and it wasn't bad (which was a complete surprise because I didn't expect it to be worthwhile at all) the food was very good (and a great portion size). We had breaded chicken breasts with a little asparagus on top and covered in a bit of cheese (side note: cheese makes everything better and if you don't agree your stupid) and then garlicky pototoes (with melted butter drizzled over top) spring vegetables on the side, a perfect size salad (peppercorn and parmesan dressing), rolls and dessert (not quite cheesecake but heading that way). By the way are Baptist college students allowed to know the difference between a martini glass, brandy snifter, shot glass, whiskey glass, and a water glass? because I knew but nobody else at my table did and the seemed shocked that I did. Oh, today I had sorghum molasses and did not like it at all. I did like Heather Waite's post on chocolate which I would link to if I was competent enough but i'm not so I won't. Anyway, I think I'm going to watch "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" because I like the film and its friday and I can. Then tomorrow I'm going to go to the Ironwood picnic (if you don't know its all right) and then I have to take my sister to her lesson (what kind of sister posts about feminazis anyway -- don't answer that, mine does. She's cool) and then I decided that I was done for the night. If I have sufficently weirded you out I'm happy (or possibly I'm not happy but you couldn't tell because non-verbal communication doesn't come through in writing).
Note to Slim: I'm eating frappe tomorrow at the Ironwood picnic but you probably can't have any
Note to Daniel Brier: This is a BWR (Blogging While Random) post
Note to J. Jones: I still need help figuring out these link thingymabobs
Note to any reader who feels like ascribing this to themself: have a great night/day/morning/afternoon/nap/swim/life.


Th-th-th-th-ats all folks!!!

Paintings

personally I prefer the Kandinsky but not because of the serenity in the Monet or the color of the Kandinsky or any of the reasons mentioned. (btw art is never completely comprehensible - if I were to completely understand the wonder of Beethoven or Monet or Michaelangelo or Jet Li it would cease to be art and become science. that is facts and bits of knowledge put together to form a cohesive whole. By the same token art must always be mostly accessible or it ceases to be art and becomes insanity.) I like the Kandinsky because of the irony of the title. The painting is not "Towards Abstraction" it is abstraction. The Monet is a masterpiece because of its focus on serenity. The story is told of a world-famous French artist (I forget the name) who towards the end of his life got arthritis in his hands, contorting his fingers into impossible shapes. Yet he still painted hours each day, forcing the paintbrush into his fingers and willing the pictures into shape, when asked why he put himself through such pain he said "Pain leaves, the beauty remains"
The Kandinsky is a masterpiece because of its composition; the marriage of color and shape, of line makes it intriguing. I like it because of its incomprehensibility, because of its formed shapelessness. It reminds of of a corncupia.

You too?

What would you do if everyone in the world depended on you to make the right decision?

"No man is an island, entire of itself every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were.
Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. . ."

--- John Donne

These are some of the most famous of all of John Donnes writings. Hemingway used this passage for the title of the book "For whom the Bell Tolls" and its referenced in other literature as well. I am always shocked at the depth of thought revealed in these words and then appalled by the enormous amount of time that I put into me.

Which do you Like?

The painting on top is called "Toward Abstraction" by Kandinsky
The one on the bottom is called "Field of Poppies" by Monet

Which do you like better?

length of previous post

sorry, its starting to border on Matty length - I'll endeavor to shut up sooner next time

Reading and the Bible

Ok, if you know anything about me at all you know that I love to read.
I don't mean your average garden-variety love, I mean your head-over-heels, have-to-get-my-fix kind of love. I will read almost anything (kids books, girls books, guys books, short stories, novels, fantasy, comic books, mystery, classics, war, etc. etc. etc.) there are very few genres that I haven't read.
Now as this relates to the Bible. As a piece of literature the Bible ranks up there in the classics. Regardless of whether you believe its true the Bible is an incredible piece of literature (and its being true only adds to its amazing-ness) So why did man go sticking his nose into inspired literature and have to arrange it with chapters and verses. I seriously hate chapter and verse. The text of the Scripture is where the meat is but because we had to have everything all nice and neat and orderly we divided up the paragraphs and sentences into easily palatable portions. Seriously, is there any other writing that man feels the need to go in and alter to fit his reading style? If I were to insert personal numerical divisions into the Iliad I would be torn up and shredded and then burned and my ashes put into an urn and dropped into the Mariana Trench attached to a bomb set to explode once the urn got to the bottom of the seven mile deep trench. But we can do this to the Bible and everybody goes "Oh that's cool"?
(Now in the spirit of attempting to offer a solution) I think there needs to be a Bible with no chapter and verse divisions. Put the text back into paragraph format with book divisions (which actually exist) and let us read the whole thought of the authors without having to pause every .3 seconds to change verses. Maybe everyone else out there can read without having the verse divisions mess you up but its completely beyond me.
So leave me a comment if a) you think you would like a Bible like that b) you think I'm a complete idiot and need to get my head examined, or c) you have a better idea.


Random Thought: You owe the government approximately $28,000 dollars. That's the amount every man, woman and child (and baby) would have to pay to completely payoff the national debt (its something like 8.4 trillion dollars - and you thought your school loan was a lot of money). So dig deep America and lets pay for the wastefulness of past generations.

I love short posts

An ode to frappe

I love thee oh orange ice.
Your delectable flavor is as rosebuds at dawn.
I love thy coolness in the hot summer day and night
And I love thy sweetness in the cold winters night.

Truly thou art magnificent and wonderful
Who but thou has a wonderful taste concoction of orange and pineapple (and sugar)?
Who but thou hast the glorious color in the dish, bowl, cup, or bucket?
Who but thou hast the ability to return me to the days of yesteryore when all was right with world?

Bless thee, oh frappe for your simplicity and complexity


This post was composed by Josh and Philip after Josh enjoyed a bowl of Oahu Frappe. If you have not had the opportunity to try this I am sorry for you. Truly frappe is the nectar of the gods (even beating Mountain Dew or coffee or espresso or latte or frappucino or tea or matte or water or steak)

And noooooooooooooooooooooooooow
(to be read in an alternatingly nasal and basso profundo voice - preferably with an East Swahili accent)

Useless Words

So long as we speak the same language and never understand each other,
So long as the spirals of our words snarl and interlock
And clutch each other with the irreckonable gutterals,
Well . . .


By Carl Sandburg

In Pursuit of Excellence

Ok, heres a short, serious post.
Ever since the end of my recital I've had people come up to me and ask me if I'm still taking lessons/what I'm doing now that my recital has finished. I always reply that "yes I'm taking lessons" and go on and tell new music I'm working on and music plans for the immediate future etc. Anyway the vast majority of people seem shocked that I would continue to want to take lessons after 'gasp' you don't have to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean honestly why would anybody actually practice if they weren't required to? why would anybody actually care about their future instead of giving some incredibly cliched, pious, answer that says "well I'll just wait for the Lord to work something out" "I don't like it when people presume on the Lords work and take matters into their own hands" Don't misunderstand me there are (few) times when the Lord actually does want us to sit down and watch him work. But there is never a time when we are allowed to forego the pursuit of perfecting the talents that God has given us.


Random Thought: I turned in my last research paper ever today (until grad school that is). May all you freshmen, sophmores, juniors, and non-graduating seniors have a blessed time writing your papers.

Posts

I know that I made a promise to post only when I wanted too but I have a plea to make.
It's called the Law of Averages and its application to our present situation goes something like this: People as a general rule tend to do a certain thing at different times. i.e. not everybody goes shopping on Monday, Dating on Thursday, and studies at 2:30 pm on Tuesday and Saturday. People do these things at various times and the end result is that somebody is always doing an activity. SO WHY IS NO ONE ELSE POSTING???????????????????????????????????

Peace

I was reviewing my posts and comments and have decided that I probably have appeared to be a mean, nasty, bitter, cynical, ugly, disgusting, angry, malicious, horrible, rude person. These things are probably all true BUT I think I have another (possibly) sweeter side that I do strive to destroy at all times. However it rises up from its early grave to choke back my bad angel and send it to an early grave, until it rises up and chokes the good angel and the cycle goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on ad nauseam. So this post is all about peace.

• I love you
• I love your friends
• I love the friends of your friends
• I love every word that drops from your lips as dew drops from the heavens in the bright blessed morn
• I love the fact that people read my blog
• I love the fact that I love to make lists for no apparent reason
• I love school
• I love my teachers
• I love the paper that I'm not writing right now

Ok, I got that out of my system.

By the way, I think I have decided to make my blog a study in pointless lists, and senseless repetition (note: these are not "random" lists or "random" repetitions) Just so you know.

Life as a Colllege Student

I should give prizes to the person who knows who painted this (RuthAnn you are not allowed to ever enter into any of my contests. EVER.) But I won't because everyone should know. [If you don't know google "The Scream" and you should find out rather quickly] Anyway this is my comment on life as a college student. It can be a scream or it can be worth screaming about.

Good Night, and Good Luck

(what famous newsman says this and why should you all be familiar with him?)

Caution

Unfortunately people have found my blog. I don't know why. I showed one person and then its just mushroomed. This blog is an in process site. (Although its close to being finished). I'm not quite sure if its solid enough in every detail. therefore tread with caution o ye who invade the castle of this unsightly mind.

Random Thought: I think for the next spirit week we could have a medieval day. guys could dress up as knights/Crusaders (nyuk, nyuk, nyuk)/jesters/pig herders/blacksmith or anything else that could be construed as medieval and the girls and dress up as . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . girls? anyway we could skip around banging coconuts together and saying things like "How now varlet, wherefore hast thou trespassed upon this my land. A murrain upon thee and a pox upon thy progeny." And the Dining Hall could have roast boar and no silverware or plates, and we could transform the gym into a gigantic jousting tournament (another opportunity to click our coconuts) and lay siege to various dorms and burn witches and warlocks at the stake (only ones lighter than a goose of course). Anyway I just thought that this was a good idea.


PS: I did NOT just finish watching what you all think I just finished watching. And if you don't know what I'm talking about oh, well.


G'day mates

A Blogger's Manifesto

I don't promise to post when you want me to.
I don't promise to post as you want me to.
I do promise to be as honest as I can be.
I do not hate you for making me join the blogger world (nobody made me join anyway).
I don't promise to satisfy your demands for a grammatically correct blog.
I don't promise to explain myself.
I won't try to offend you but if I do at least give me the opportunity to defend myself and to apologize
I only talk about what interests me. If thats a problem find some other blogger who talks about whatever it was that you were interested in anyway.
I reserve the right to employ sarcasm and cynicism in my posts (if you can't tell if its either of these things you probably don't know me well enough and you should get to know me better).
I do reserve the right to castigate anyone or anything who is doing wrong.
I promise to let you know what God is doing for me and (hopefully) through me.

This blog will be about me and my outlook on the world. Its views are mine and no one elses. I will be as brutally honest as I can so if you don't like lots of info, go somewhere else.