There are many things in the world that I hate. Some of them are too offensive to be named ever, some are too offensive to be named in this blog, but this post isn't about hate or love or even indifference. Although all of these emotions are contained in my topic.
I sit back and consider endings. Life is full of ends: end of day, hour, second, century, relationship, meals, classes, lives, cars, trips, good times, bad times, college, grad school, all ends and all beginnings. In the semi-permament state of this world there is death and renewal all the time.
My grandad is 81. He worked hard in this life and provided for his family, now he sits all day in a chair in the sun because he can't do anything else. His face beams like the sun when his grandkids come and sit with him and talk to him. He sleeps all the time except when he goes to church -- you see, my grandfather made a profession of faith last summer. Frankly, I don't even know if he remembers the decision, and there's only the hope and belief in my heart that it was true. My grandmother is in a nursing home recuperating from a broken ankle. She too is 81 and she is sad. Her life is slipping away from her, her normally sharp mind has started to fail her and she is scared to admit that she is incapable of surviving on her on. She fears death, and a couple of days ago she asked my mom to bring her a bible so she could read it. She raised a great family, all of her kids are honest, upright people with great marriages and good families, all of them love their parents and want whats best for them. Right now we're struggling to find care options for them once g-ma comes home from the nursing home. G-pa wants to live with family, G-ma would much rather live on her own.
At the end of my brown study I consider my own life, how I have been blessed with the ability to serve God, how God has given me opportunity and I'm scared because I don't want to waste what I've been given.
But this post isn't about me, or really even about my grandparents, its about ending. Life is a constant process of ending and humans are in a constant state of dying. Until I am able to continually die I will never have the satisfaction of ending.
And so I end.
6 comments:
Isn't it awesome, though, to be a Christian and know that every ending is just a beginning? Like the end of one ministry can be the jumping-off point for the next ministry. But coolest of all, is that the end of this ache-filled life is the beginning of an eternity with our Savior!!! Takes all fear of endings away from me. :-)
its not fear of endings that drives this post. Its the knowledge that ending means beginning. Until I'm willing to end there is no hope for Christ to begin.
It's your last paragraph that still has me thinking. So, what is the "satisfaction of ending?" Is it heaven/eternity? Is it finally ariving at a fully sanctified state after having died daily to sin?
Good thoughts--thanks.
I personally think that endings are exciting because they reflect an accomplishment. An accomplishment of something done well or something that was bad is over and you can look toward the new. At the end of everything you can sit back and learn. Approaching graduation, we can learn many lessons through what has been accomplished over the past five year :). Some things we are happy with and others we are just glad that they are over.
One thing I just thought of is that we have dead lines for projects and we have known when graduation was coming, but yet always at project due date and finally marching down the aisle seems to catch us off guard and we are surprised that it comes so fast.
We don’t know when are date has been set for death and that I am grateful for. If I knew when my end of life would approach, I would probably procrastinate (similar to what we do with projects), but I don’t know. I need to be living today thinking that today could be the end.
Josh I like your last sentence. “Until I am able to continually die I will never have the satisfaction of ending.” We need to be looking at every day, every task, every minute as if it would be the last.
In response to Heather.
The satisfaction of ending can mean many things. In an extremely broad sense it probably looks forward to death. In a physical sense it would mean relief at the end of a project. In a spiritual sense it could mean dying to self. I don't think that I could tell you exactly what it is because like many things in life its situational. I just know that its true.
"As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness; I will be satisfied with Your likeness when I awake (Psa 17:15)."
Praise God that one day, after the Great White Throne, we will see the last ending, and the last beginning, the way we and this earth could have been without sin (Rev. 21:1-6). That will be a true Beginning without an end as we FOREVER worship Christ as Lord. Hard to think we will never cease or tire of making Him our complete focus.
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